I'll be 30 at the end of January, yikes! The last 10 years of my life have just come and gone in a flash.
When I look back at the last 15 years of my life, knowing what I know now, I don't know that I would change anything that has happened. Even if I were able to go back in time, my 16 or 18 year old self most likely would not even believe what I had to say.
If I were able to go back to the beginning of January 2002 and tell the 18 year old me that I would be resigning nearly a full 4 year academic and football scholarship from a top university in the coming months, I'm pretty sure the younger me would have flipped out in disbelief.
My reaction would have been even crazier when I told myself that I would not even be able to go to college the following year because my dad spent nearly every penny of my college fund in order to add on to the house as a last ditch effort to try and please the family. There was a secret that he knew and we didn't at the time (our family tragedy was closing in).
If 30 year old me had told teenage me this information, I would have laughed at you and said "there is no way any of this could happen, I have too much going for me."
It did happen though. God was about to use a horrible situation in order to wake me up and bring me back on the path that He wanted me on.
If future me had continued to say that I would be traveling to Peru, South America that coming summer, then spending a year of my life in an unpaid internship with Real Impact Missions, my response would have been, "I'm going to do what?"
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage self to prepare for the worst, to be ready for a tragedy that would cost the family everything and force us to completely trust God and hold onto hope.
How do you tell an 18 year old kid that your Dad is going to be arrested shortly after your high school graduation for the majority of your life and investigated further for unimaginable crimes? You just don't. It is something that you can't fathom until it happens. It was something that I just had to experience.
It would be my defining moment in life. Every trial and hardship that I had faced up until that point was what prepared me for that moment. It prepared me for that one afternoon phone call from my mom to come home immediately. She would not tell me what was going on, she just said in a very detached and sad tone that "you need to come home now."
That was the longest 10 minute car ride home. I felt completely lost and did not know what to expect.
Every trial that I had faced so far in my life had prepared me for that 10 second run from the car, through the front door, and into the living room.
I will never forget their faces. Everyone was there but my brother and my dad. My sisters had already heard and lived the news. They were in a separate room comforting each other. As soon as the words started to come out of my moms mouth, I just tunnel visioned out.
All I heard was, "Your dad has done something very bad..." Every emotion hit me at once, and just like that...I was out the door screaming in pain! I wanted to tear and rip apart anything that I touched.
I jumped in my intern directors car with some of the other interns, just screaming for them to get me out of here. I could not even get the words out to tell them what had happened. All I could say was, "my dad, my dad..." The tears and pain were too much to say the rest.
My life had just come crashing down. Little did I know, this one event would be what was to prepare me for the next 10 years of trial after trial.
How do you tell an 18 year old kid that your Dad is going to be arrested shortly after your high school graduation for the majority of your life and investigated further for unimaginable crimes? You just don't. It is something that you can't fathom until it happens. It was something that I just had to experience.
It would be my defining moment in life. Every trial and hardship that I had faced up until that point was what prepared me for that moment. It prepared me for that one afternoon phone call from my mom to come home immediately. She would not tell me what was going on, she just said in a very detached and sad tone that "you need to come home now."
That was the longest 10 minute car ride home. I felt completely lost and did not know what to expect.
Every trial that I had faced so far in my life had prepared me for that 10 second run from the car, through the front door, and into the living room.
I will never forget their faces. Everyone was there but my brother and my dad. My sisters had already heard and lived the news. They were in a separate room comforting each other. As soon as the words started to come out of my moms mouth, I just tunnel visioned out.
All I heard was, "Your dad has done something very bad..." Every emotion hit me at once, and just like that...I was out the door screaming in pain! I wanted to tear and rip apart anything that I touched.
I jumped in my intern directors car with some of the other interns, just screaming for them to get me out of here. I could not even get the words out to tell them what had happened. All I could say was, "my dad, my dad..." The tears and pain were too much to say the rest.
My life had just come crashing down. Little did I know, this one event would be what was to prepare me for the next 10 years of trial after trial.
If my future self had visited me in January 2002 and told me that after my missions internship I would be living in Venezuela for two months, then two weeks later moving all the way to South Carolina to attend a Christian university, I would have said, "Shut up Matt, I don't want to hear anymore! There is no way all this can happen!" My belongings were very minimal, I did not have much left that I could call my own anymore.
My future self would have then looked at me sadly and said:
"There is more I have to tell you unfortunately. Your toughest years have yet to come. Over the next 10 years you're going to hit the lowest you have ever seen. It will be the hardest years you have ever dealt with so far. There are many blessings that will come out of all this though, because you have faced all these hardships, you will be meeting your future wife the day you arrive in South Carolina."
"You will then be married the following year, have a miracle child just years later, and best of all...100's of lives will spared because you followed your passion. The twisted part is, in order to really get you excited and set on working as an EMT, you're going to witness an Indiana Jones type of accident that will miss you by only a few feet. Your life will be spared because of a spilt second hesitation to get one last look at the flowers you had planted before you went to lunch. The sad part is that you will experience a great injury just 4 years later that will forever alter your life. You will overcome, but there will be challenges day to day, both physically and spiritually. Challenges that will force you to put your trust in God. Just remember to not give up; keep your eyes on The One who gives strength, courage, and wisdom to all who seek him."
After hearing all of this, I would not even know what to say; I would be speechless. I might have thrown in a, "I have stared at death many years ago and overcame it, there is no way all this can happen to me again." Unfortunately, yet fortunately, it all did happen again.
My future self would have then looked at me sadly and said:
"There is more I have to tell you unfortunately. Your toughest years have yet to come. Over the next 10 years you're going to hit the lowest you have ever seen. It will be the hardest years you have ever dealt with so far. There are many blessings that will come out of all this though, because you have faced all these hardships, you will be meeting your future wife the day you arrive in South Carolina."
"You will then be married the following year, have a miracle child just years later, and best of all...100's of lives will spared because you followed your passion. The twisted part is, in order to really get you excited and set on working as an EMT, you're going to witness an Indiana Jones type of accident that will miss you by only a few feet. Your life will be spared because of a spilt second hesitation to get one last look at the flowers you had planted before you went to lunch. The sad part is that you will experience a great injury just 4 years later that will forever alter your life. You will overcome, but there will be challenges day to day, both physically and spiritually. Challenges that will force you to put your trust in God. Just remember to not give up; keep your eyes on The One who gives strength, courage, and wisdom to all who seek him."
After hearing all of this, I would not even know what to say; I would be speechless. I might have thrown in a, "I have stared at death many years ago and overcame it, there is no way all this can happen to me again." Unfortunately, yet fortunately, it all did happen again.
It all started around the new year of 2002 with a stirring in my spirit. It was one of those unsettling feelings that would not go away. Had I not paid attention to this sense of urgency while on my last college football visit before I moved on campus, I can honestly say that I would not be here today. On the way home I told both my mom and dad that I had felt like God was trying to tell me to not play football or attend this school. I said to both of them, "I know I have worked so hard to get to this point in my life, but I just feel like this is what I am supposed to do. I feel a peace about it."
My mom quickly chimed in and said, "good, I had that very same feeling as soon as we pulled on campus." My dad disagreed with both of us and said that "You have to take this once in a lifetime opportunity." He said, "You have worked too hard to let this all go, just take some time to think about it." I said to him "I don't need time to think about it, I feel that this is the right thing to do and it is my decision." We did not say a word to each other the whole ride home. I just stared out the window wondering what God was up to.
Had I ignored this most urgent feeling, I would have never been placed in some of the best hands possible for one of the worst tragedies of my 30 years of life.
I would have never been placed in the hands of Real Impact Missions (RIM). Their name says it all, their passion is to change lives by making a real life changing impact that will never be forgotten and always talked about. Once you have experienced life on the RIM, I promise you this...
You will never be the same. This company and their staff is the reason why I made it through such a rough time. They were there for me when I needed them the most.
They loved and comforted me when I felt I could go on no more. They let me express my emotions and worked with me to cope with my loss. They were flexible when I needed time away to go home and spend time with my grieving family.
I never in a millions years would have ever thought that I would one day be traveling overseas right out of high school. Much less leading youth and church groups in various settings around the United States or for that matter, the World. I would have never thought that I would be playing music in large settings in the Mid West and South America.
I would have never imagined I would be running a 15k with just a few months of preparation and dropping from a buff 280 to a stick at 210. I was a big guy at the time, I'd only ran sprints in football practice and maybe a mile jog once in a blue moon.
I would have never believed you if you told me that I would be setting up overseas trips, dramas, and medical missions while working with RIM. Or recruiting individuals, churches, schools and other groups to go into some of the most persecuted countries in the world.
I would have never imagined that I would ever be mentored by 2 well known followers of Christ over the course of 2 years.
I never imagined that I would be taking classes in ministry, church leadership, and theological studies outside of college. Much less, learn of all the Christian persecution that takes place all over the world.
I was taking life for granted and was not appreciative for all that I had been given. That all changed when I was formally introduced to Real Impact Missions in the Summer of 2002.
I could go on and on about all the experiences I had and how the RIM internship literally changed and saved my life. I was fortunate enough to be part of something brand new. I was 1 of 6 interns that were part of the very first RIM internship.
My decision was made very late in the process and I was very blessed to have even gotten to start that year. We were a close knit group; just like brothers and sisters. We all came from different stages of life, much less, all over the United States. We all had some sort of baggage that we brought with us.
RIM reached out to us on a very personal level and did not judge us for our past. They brought us in and truly showed us what it meant to serve others and not just be a "Christian", but a Follower of Christ.
I really didn't know what RIM was about prior to my first overseas trip, other than what I had heard from my older brother and younger sister whom had partnered up with my high school and RIM to perform dramas and music in several countries over the years. My brother Tim continuously pestered me to go on at least one missions trip in my lifetime.
I would always just blow him off, telling him that I could not miss any football camps or strength training practices over the holidays or Summers.
He himself was a Division 1 All-Star high school prospect and the main reason why I excelled so well in football. He knew what it took, but he also knew that the sport was not everything in life.
He'd always tell me there was more to life than just being the hotshot jock. I'd just blow him off and continue to live in my selfish and so called "perfect life" that I thought I had.
That is until he got back from one of his last RIM trips.
He came back with so many stories of how people were healed in unexplainable ways. He came back sickened with how we as a family lived such selfish and ungrateful lives. We had so much, but gave so little. He did not have to say anything, he showed us by his actions, not in a condemning way, but through love and service.
He shared how people with so little just opened their homes to their team. He came back different, not the same Tim. He no longer wanted to pursue the dream of playing football for one of the best college teams in the country at the time. He had it all right in front of him, and just like that, he let it all go to follow the life Jesus had for him.
I did not understand, why was he so different? What changed in him? What was so great that would make him just give up something that he loved so much? It raised a lot of questions that I just could not shake off over the years.
Because he made that one decision, he eventually got on staff with a camp called Kanakuk while attending Oral Roberts University, he later moved to Dallas and married his true love that he had met while at camp. He is now a highly respected Physicians Assistant and he and his wife have started one of the most well known marriage blogs in the country. These events most likely would not have happened had he never attended an evangelism class in high school and took part in a Real Impact Missions trip.
It would not be until I let my dream of playing college football go as well that I would understand what he meant. It was shortly after high school and right before one of the greatest tragedies my family was about to face.
All it took was one month out of my life and my whole outlook on life changed. It was then and there, while I was in Peru, that I finally knew what my next steps would be. I had finally decided that I was going to take a risk and live on the edge of life. I was going to go out on the rim and take a blind step into the unknown and do the Real Impact Missions Internship.
I went on the Peru mission trip partly because I had no concrete plans for what I was going to do after high school. I had just let go of nearly a 4 year full ride, what else was I supposed to do? I had heard about the internship prior to the trip, but it was one of those things that sounded exciting, but I had not completely committed to it yet.
I had originally just signed up for a 2 week trip with no intentions of staying any longer. As soon as I arrived in Miami, Florida to catch up with our team, I heard about the plans for the second 2 week trip. I was sold! I wanted to be part of this adventure. So I called mom and dad up and asked for some money to stay longer, and that was that. It was this act that literally saved my life in the months to come.
There are many of you out there that might be able to relate to the feeling of not really knowing what to do next in life. Maybe you're about to graduate from high school or you're in college and just feel lost.
Maybe you have strarted a new career, but have that feeling of emptiness and are asking yourself "what the heck am I doing, is this really the path I want to take?" Maybe you just need to get away for a year like I did and see how your life changes?
Maybe it's time for you to get away and try something new. Maybe it's time for you to just get out of your comfort zone. RIM has individual trips, group trips, and they even can customize trips to meet and exceed the vision that your church, school, or business wishes to pursue. Maybe you have been on some type of church missions trip before (in or out of state or country) as an individual and now you are interested in serving in a leadership role. Guess what? They have that too!
My mom quickly chimed in and said, "good, I had that very same feeling as soon as we pulled on campus." My dad disagreed with both of us and said that "You have to take this once in a lifetime opportunity." He said, "You have worked too hard to let this all go, just take some time to think about it." I said to him "I don't need time to think about it, I feel that this is the right thing to do and it is my decision." We did not say a word to each other the whole ride home. I just stared out the window wondering what God was up to.
Had I ignored this most urgent feeling, I would have never been placed in some of the best hands possible for one of the worst tragedies of my 30 years of life.
I would have never been placed in the hands of Real Impact Missions (RIM). Their name says it all, their passion is to change lives by making a real life changing impact that will never be forgotten and always talked about. Once you have experienced life on the RIM, I promise you this...
You will never be the same. This company and their staff is the reason why I made it through such a rough time. They were there for me when I needed them the most.
They loved and comforted me when I felt I could go on no more. They let me express my emotions and worked with me to cope with my loss. They were flexible when I needed time away to go home and spend time with my grieving family.
I never in a millions years would have ever thought that I would one day be traveling overseas right out of high school. Much less leading youth and church groups in various settings around the United States or for that matter, the World. I would have never thought that I would be playing music in large settings in the Mid West and South America.
I would have never imagined I would be running a 15k with just a few months of preparation and dropping from a buff 280 to a stick at 210. I was a big guy at the time, I'd only ran sprints in football practice and maybe a mile jog once in a blue moon.
I would have never believed you if you told me that I would be setting up overseas trips, dramas, and medical missions while working with RIM. Or recruiting individuals, churches, schools and other groups to go into some of the most persecuted countries in the world.
I would have never imagined that I would ever be mentored by 2 well known followers of Christ over the course of 2 years.
I never imagined that I would be taking classes in ministry, church leadership, and theological studies outside of college. Much less, learn of all the Christian persecution that takes place all over the world.
I was taking life for granted and was not appreciative for all that I had been given. That all changed when I was formally introduced to Real Impact Missions in the Summer of 2002.
I could go on and on about all the experiences I had and how the RIM internship literally changed and saved my life. I was fortunate enough to be part of something brand new. I was 1 of 6 interns that were part of the very first RIM internship.
My decision was made very late in the process and I was very blessed to have even gotten to start that year. We were a close knit group; just like brothers and sisters. We all came from different stages of life, much less, all over the United States. We all had some sort of baggage that we brought with us.
RIM reached out to us on a very personal level and did not judge us for our past. They brought us in and truly showed us what it meant to serve others and not just be a "Christian", but a Follower of Christ.
I really didn't know what RIM was about prior to my first overseas trip, other than what I had heard from my older brother and younger sister whom had partnered up with my high school and RIM to perform dramas and music in several countries over the years. My brother Tim continuously pestered me to go on at least one missions trip in my lifetime.
I would always just blow him off, telling him that I could not miss any football camps or strength training practices over the holidays or Summers.
He himself was a Division 1 All-Star high school prospect and the main reason why I excelled so well in football. He knew what it took, but he also knew that the sport was not everything in life.
He'd always tell me there was more to life than just being the hotshot jock. I'd just blow him off and continue to live in my selfish and so called "perfect life" that I thought I had.
That is until he got back from one of his last RIM trips.
He came back with so many stories of how people were healed in unexplainable ways. He came back sickened with how we as a family lived such selfish and ungrateful lives. We had so much, but gave so little. He did not have to say anything, he showed us by his actions, not in a condemning way, but through love and service.
He shared how people with so little just opened their homes to their team. He came back different, not the same Tim. He no longer wanted to pursue the dream of playing football for one of the best college teams in the country at the time. He had it all right in front of him, and just like that, he let it all go to follow the life Jesus had for him.
I did not understand, why was he so different? What changed in him? What was so great that would make him just give up something that he loved so much? It raised a lot of questions that I just could not shake off over the years.
Because he made that one decision, he eventually got on staff with a camp called Kanakuk while attending Oral Roberts University, he later moved to Dallas and married his true love that he had met while at camp. He is now a highly respected Physicians Assistant and he and his wife have started one of the most well known marriage blogs in the country. These events most likely would not have happened had he never attended an evangelism class in high school and took part in a Real Impact Missions trip.
It would not be until I let my dream of playing college football go as well that I would understand what he meant. It was shortly after high school and right before one of the greatest tragedies my family was about to face.
All it took was one month out of my life and my whole outlook on life changed. It was then and there, while I was in Peru, that I finally knew what my next steps would be. I had finally decided that I was going to take a risk and live on the edge of life. I was going to go out on the rim and take a blind step into the unknown and do the Real Impact Missions Internship.
I went on the Peru mission trip partly because I had no concrete plans for what I was going to do after high school. I had just let go of nearly a 4 year full ride, what else was I supposed to do? I had heard about the internship prior to the trip, but it was one of those things that sounded exciting, but I had not completely committed to it yet.
I had originally just signed up for a 2 week trip with no intentions of staying any longer. As soon as I arrived in Miami, Florida to catch up with our team, I heard about the plans for the second 2 week trip. I was sold! I wanted to be part of this adventure. So I called mom and dad up and asked for some money to stay longer, and that was that. It was this act that literally saved my life in the months to come.
There are many of you out there that might be able to relate to the feeling of not really knowing what to do next in life. Maybe you're about to graduate from high school or you're in college and just feel lost.
Maybe you have strarted a new career, but have that feeling of emptiness and are asking yourself "what the heck am I doing, is this really the path I want to take?" Maybe you just need to get away for a year like I did and see how your life changes?
Maybe it's time for you to get away and try something new. Maybe it's time for you to just get out of your comfort zone. RIM has individual trips, group trips, and they even can customize trips to meet and exceed the vision that your church, school, or business wishes to pursue. Maybe you have been on some type of church missions trip before (in or out of state or country) as an individual and now you are interested in serving in a leadership role. Guess what? They have that too!
Many of you might be thinking about the costs of going on a trip or even attending the year long unpaid internship. Don't let the details bog you down. Just take the action and contact RIM to find out more! They will get you the information you need in order to take the next step.
I promise you this, there are tons of ways to come up with the money you need. You can plan ahead of time, but also trust that God will provide. I am an example and testimony that your financial needs can be met when you completely trust that God will provide for you. I went from being financially secure with no worries, to completely broke and on my own when our tragedy hit. God met and exceeded EVERY financial need that arose.
Each of us are in a different season of life right now and sometimes when things don't go the way we think they ought to go, just remember that each one of us are maturing at a different rate. It just might not be the right season in life yet. A quick example is this: My little sister traveled to Peru a few times while in high school through an evangelism class.
After high school graduation she attended a state university for a short period of time before deciding that she wanted to study abroad for a year in Peru. The family she stayed with had a son around her age and he just happened to have a friend at the time that occasionally spent time with the family.
Had this hosts family's son not ever friended this guy at the time, he may have never come to know the Lord. Because of that commitment, he met my sister. They later married and moved back to the states and have a beautiful 4 year old girl. My brother-in-law has been a huge blessing in my life and many others. Just to think, it all started with a passion in my sisters heart to want to serve in an evangelism class in high school.
I recruited hundreds if not thousands of people over the course of my time with RIM. I heard story after story of how individuals finances were miraculously provided for up until the day of the trip. Or how they happened to come across RIM while not even thinking about going on a mission trip.
I promise you this, God will provide for your every need when you completely put all your trust in Him and quit trying to do life your own way. It may not always happen how you think it should happen or in the timing that you feel it should happen, but trust me, nothing is impossible for the Most High God!
Real Impact Missions never came to me and asked me to write all this for them. This has been something that has been on my heart for quite some time and I have felt very passionate about it all.
I am currently working on a book that will share more details of my life and the trials that God pulled us through. Feel free to come to me in person if you want to hear more. I am also more than happy to come and speak to any group that would like to hear my story of how God pulled my family and I through 15 years of hardship.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this really, really, really, long post. Have a blessed week and remember: All things are possible for those who love Christ. Nothing is impossible for my God. I am living proof!
I promise you this, there are tons of ways to come up with the money you need. You can plan ahead of time, but also trust that God will provide. I am an example and testimony that your financial needs can be met when you completely trust that God will provide for you. I went from being financially secure with no worries, to completely broke and on my own when our tragedy hit. God met and exceeded EVERY financial need that arose.
Each of us are in a different season of life right now and sometimes when things don't go the way we think they ought to go, just remember that each one of us are maturing at a different rate. It just might not be the right season in life yet. A quick example is this: My little sister traveled to Peru a few times while in high school through an evangelism class.
After high school graduation she attended a state university for a short period of time before deciding that she wanted to study abroad for a year in Peru. The family she stayed with had a son around her age and he just happened to have a friend at the time that occasionally spent time with the family.
Had this hosts family's son not ever friended this guy at the time, he may have never come to know the Lord. Because of that commitment, he met my sister. They later married and moved back to the states and have a beautiful 4 year old girl. My brother-in-law has been a huge blessing in my life and many others. Just to think, it all started with a passion in my sisters heart to want to serve in an evangelism class in high school.
I recruited hundreds if not thousands of people over the course of my time with RIM. I heard story after story of how individuals finances were miraculously provided for up until the day of the trip. Or how they happened to come across RIM while not even thinking about going on a mission trip.
I promise you this, God will provide for your every need when you completely put all your trust in Him and quit trying to do life your own way. It may not always happen how you think it should happen or in the timing that you feel it should happen, but trust me, nothing is impossible for the Most High God!
Real Impact Missions never came to me and asked me to write all this for them. This has been something that has been on my heart for quite some time and I have felt very passionate about it all.
I am currently working on a book that will share more details of my life and the trials that God pulled us through. Feel free to come to me in person if you want to hear more. I am also more than happy to come and speak to any group that would like to hear my story of how God pulled my family and I through 15 years of hardship.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this really, really, really, long post. Have a blessed week and remember: All things are possible for those who love Christ. Nothing is impossible for my God. I am living proof!
