To Give or Not to Give?

That is the question...

Are you a penny pincher when it comes to "your" money? Or are you the type that gives freely and expects nothing in return? Before I get into everything, I want to say upfront that this is not a debate of whether or not to tithe, or how much you should tithe. 

This is also not about condemning those that don't give to others. Your lifestyle and how you spend your money is your choice. Not everyone has gone through the same experiences as I have, so I can't expect someone to automatically start doing something they have never done. It is a process.

Tithing, giving, and how you should live your lifestyle is something you need to figure out in your heart. Okay, now that I got that out of the way...

As far back as I can remember, I was always taught to give 10% of what I made. That was hard for me to do. Partly because I did not have an actual job, but also because I understood the concept of 10 percent; the more I made, the more 10 percent equalled. I was a greedy little kid and did not want to even let go of a penny.  

I received an allowance each week, but I sure had to work my booty off for it. I would have to put part of it in my savings envelope and part in my giving envelope. I was the hardest little worker you could find. I would work all day and night to make more money. I was all about the money and all the things I could do if I had a lot of it. I'm sorry, total tangent, I have to share this Abba video and of course the O'Jays when they were on Soul Train.

Anyway...I had thousands saved up by the time I was 12 years old. It was all earned through blood, sweat, and tears. The blood and tears part came from when my brother and I would fight. If we got caught or told on each other, the money that we were going to earn was no longer an option. The task then became a labor camp. My dad would work us to death or at least until we learned our lesson. He was a football trainer when he was in college and knew every drill in the book. We learned our lesson quick.

I would do odd jobs around the neighborhood like mowing and anything else that had to do with dirt or using my hands. I would also buy suckers from my elementary school for twenty-five cents and then would turn around and charge fifty cents for them. I would sell them to the pushover neighbors whom thought I was cute. At one point in my childhood I even tried to sell leaves, but that did not last long. I can't leave out the pop and lemonade days at garage sales. I'd make a killing! A whole $15 seemed like a lot to me at the time.

I don't even think I was 8 years old when I started my sucker business. When the school found out that I was making a profit, they shut me down and would not let me buy anymore...

I saw nothing wrong with it. They got their money upfront, so by golly I was going to make my money back, plus some.

So what did I do? I started making my own suckers (with my moms help of course; I would have burnt the house down. I nearly did, true story) and would sell them around the neighborhood and in any shop my mom would frequent...(The beauty salon, the hair bow store, the flower shop, mom and dads work). 

As I got older, the envelopes eventually stopped. I no longer gave and would only save for what I wanted. It got to the point where my parents just handed us money because I felt I was entitled. I didn't have to work for any of the cars that I had as a teenager or the new clothes that were on my back. I didn't have to work for the food that I ate. It was all handed to us freely.

We had everything you could ever think of. Everything a kid ever wanted. We had the lake house, the rent house, the "Big House" that was in an affluent neighborhood. We had the lake toys, the boats, the new cars, the fancy vacations, the huge parties, and every new toy or video game you could buy. 

Outwardly it appeared that we had it all together, but in reality, each one of us 5 kids and my mom were just wasting away feeling unsatisfied and depressed. Money and things no longer made us happy. 

There were days where I would just go outside in the back court yard and just stare off in a daze at all the things that we had or all the work that I needed to do. We had so much, but gave so little. 

That all began to change in the late 90's when my brother went on his first overseas trip into one of the poorest 3rd world country's you can imagine. He came back with stories of how people literally had nothing, but yet would invite them into their shacks and feed them like they were close family.

This is a picture of a small village in South America that I visited. They had no running water and just enough electricity to light up a few light bulbs. Buckets filled the house to catch all the rain that came through the roof. Most of these people did not even have shoes and here I was in a new pair of hiking boots. 

These stories broke our hearts, but yet no action was taken to shed any of the material things that we had. That all changed after my sister and I visited some of the poorest 3rd world countries in South America. Many people had no running water, no gas or electric stoves, no washers or dryers, sometimes no electricity, and no privacy. Some just had the torn and dirty clothes on their backs and a makeshift roof over their heads. 

Yet they gave freely to us, not because we were the Americans, but because that was who they were. When a need arose, it would be taken care of. If someone needed shelter, that person would be taken in. It was not uncommon to see 10x10 shacks that would have 9 people living in it and all they had to eat were a few potatoes for the week. They would welcome us not as strangers, but as family. We were not a burden to these people. We wanted to help everyone, but there just wasn't enough to go around. I had friends that actually gave the shirts off their backs in order to help someone. 

This village in South America would use anything they could find to build their homes.

What made these people so happy and content? Was it because they had never experienced anything else or was it more than that? Where was their hope and faith coming from?  I personally was about to find those very answers in the coming months. My life was about to be turned upside down.

When I finally arrived back in the states in the Summer of 2002, I was grieved with the way that we lived. Over a 4th of what we had, we did not need. I did not need 20 shirts and pants, or however many pairs of shoes. Some of the smallest most insignificant things that we had would have made a world of difference to these people.

I could go on and on. The point I am trying to get across is this...Do we really "need" all that we have?

What is holding you back from giving that $1 to a charity or foundation at the checkout counter? Or that 1 shirt, or 1 coat, or 1 pair of shoes that you have not worn in over a year to the homeless shelter or guy on the side of the road? 

I took this picture in Peru. This little guy was the man of the house and cooked potatoes for us to eat. This was the only food they had left until they got paid and they freely welcomed us in without hesitation. Our group was able to greatly bless this family for their generosity.

It grieves me because I know that there is still so much more that I can let go of to make a difference in so many lives. I have been on both sides of life: I know what it is like to have everything you could ever imagine and I know what it is like to not know how I am going to put food on the table. 

I challenge all that read this post, including myself, to just give one thing at the very least to someone in need. You would be surprised who all needs help. Outwardly someone might look fine, but on the inside they might be wasting away and struggling to get by. 

If we spend all that we make or live the lifestyle of or above our income, all it takes is one thing to destroy you. It does not matter if you are "poor or rich" in perspective. So when you think about it, we really don't "need" that much to live.  

All we "need" is water to sustain us, food to strengthen us, clothes to keep us warm, and a shelter to protect us. What will you let go of this week? 

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4: 11-13).